I’ve never “picked up”at a club before. Never understood how to do it, so I’ve never tried. But now having gone out with people that are actively attempting to “score” or “close” or “pull” a girl, I have witnessed something new. Something so very complex. Something they call The Game.
“That blonde one over there in that group of girls,” Sebastien points out to me. “I like her. She’s pretty.”
There were at least 30 other girls in the club already, but finally my picky friend has spotted someone he finds attractive.
“What do you want me to do?” I ask. “Should I go up to her and tell her ‘hey, my friend thinks you’re pretty cute’?”
“No, you can’t do that,” Sebastien quickly responds.
I’m perplexed. I question further. I’m told that if you tell a girl you think she’s pretty, you’ve now given her all the power, and she’ll no longer be interested in you.
“Show that you’re the alpha male,” Adri, another Canadian I met put it. “If you’re too needy, you’re a beta male….come from a perspective where there’s freedom from the outcome. You don’t care if she likes you back.”
Adri explains that you want to spike her emotions. Sometimes you say something outrageous, and then you tone it back down. It will intrigue her apparently, even if she acts annoyed or surprised by what you’ve said.
“Sometimes you have to flirt with her friends,” Brendan, a New Zealander tells me. “You can’t constantly give her the attention.”
It’s. So. Complicated. Don’t do this. Try that. You have to be this. You have to look like you’re that.
“You’re always pinging,” Adri explains. “You’re testing to see how far you can go. If it’s a negative response, you have to rethink and re-calibrate your approach. Maybe say something left of field like ‘Pizza! I know a good pizza place, you want pizza?’ – you have to take baby steps.”
It’s a fine line of testing the waters, and keeping her interested, whilst not going all the way. From what I can gather, you want to make her want you, but she needs to feel like she’s not “easy” by going to bed with you, so you have to keep pinging, and react according to how she’s acting.
And do you know what this reminds me of? A mating dance. Except instead of a bird displaying its feathers or a stag physically taking out the others, we have men proving their ‘alpha-ness’ by showing they’re in control and can read how the woman is feeling and can at least put on that they care about the woman.
Is this how it needs to bed? Who the heck knows. But it’s the way it is and it’s the way it happens, , and I’m just glad I don’t have to take part in it.