I’m already pretty full from dinner – a pasta dish with chicken and basil in a tomato sauce. But I’m at The Cheesecake Factory with a friend, so, of course I have to try some cheesecake.
“The original,”I suggest. Being a lover of cheesecake, I should try the most basic and non-extravagant cheesecake to see how well they do the basics.
“Not the original,” warns my Philly friend. Apparently The Cheesecake Factory is a thing across the US, so I could get the original another time. “You’re travelling. Be Adventurous.”
My eyes stop on Chris’ Outrageous Cheesecake. a Mix of chocolate brownie cake, coconut cheesecake and a pecan frosting. It sounded decadent. Actually, overly indulgent. Instead of the 820 calories of the original cheesecake, this one had over 1500 calories. Even for an active person my age, that’s more than half your daily calories. In one slice.
I think about the triple choc doughnut I had earlier that day. One dessert per day is plenty, and now you’re going for the second highest caloric cake on the menu. But, cheesecake..! I’m already here. I’m not stuffed just yet. And it’s called Chris’ Outrageous Cheesecake!
“Fuck it,” I concede, ordering a slice of this exorbitant dessert. A decision I soon regret when it comes out.
I guess all those calories had to go somewhere. With three distinct layers, a swirl of chocolate ganache on top and a dollop of whipped cream on the side, Chris, this really is outrageous.
I strike the cake with my fork. It holds its form well as I inhale a mouthful and mull over the taste as I chew. My initial reaction? It’s nice, but nothing amazing. I taste more of the coconut. Okay, it tastes pretty good. It’s not super sweet.
This is too sweet, I start to think, now halfway through the slice. I’m at a good point. I should probably stop eating. But my friend has had enough of it, and it’s sitting right in front of me. So I continue picking at it. Until it’s almost finished.
“That was too much. I feel a bit sick,” I complain. But yet, I did the eating. There’s really no-one to blame but me. But my gosh. I really did not want to eat that much of it. Yet I did. What’s wrong with me?
I stumble out of The Cheesecake Factory, full of gas and regret. Never again, I warn myself. For the hundredth time.